Day 22

I end today totally exhausted, but no workout in sight! I was at work all day (should have gotten up early to take a walk or something) and went straight to YW and Board Meeting. I even tried to walk home, but the YW Leaders freaked out about me walking home alone.

After being SO proud about working out in Price--I completely BOMBED that night. It was a way low moment in my 100 Day challenge.

At about 5:00 pm I decided I just had to have ice cream. Honestly, I knew I wasn't hungry.....but I was going to have some ice cream, no matter what! So I went to the only ice cream store in Price...Cold Stone. I ordered a milk shake. I was given a choice of a tiny one or a large one and I chose the large one. At this point I was not hungry at all! Even the thought of eating a whole milk shake was making me kind of sick....but it was like I was completely determined I was going to drink that shake! No one was going to tell me not to! After they made my Oreo Chocolate Shake,  I walked out to the car and took a sip of it---and was disappointed. It wasn't very good. They hadn't done a really good job on it. But you know what? I drove along and made myself  drink that whole thing. It was like I was standing outside myself watching me drink this not-so-good shake and I was mesmerized at the picture of it. Why would I keep drinking it?

But that's not the end. I had told myself I was going to have a small personal pan pizza delivered to my hotel room. IDS was paying for it and I was going to have it! Once again, I wasn't hungry. In fact, I was pretty stuffed and sick from that stupid milk shake.....but I ordered that pizza and a 2 liter of Root Beer and I ate that whole pizza. I drank some of the root beer and was finally beyond sick. I stopped in total amazement.

I lay in bed that night and was SO angry. I knew that eating better was not a part of my 100 Day Challenge, but I had crossed over into sabotaging myself by the increased amount of garbage I had shoved down my throat! My hotel room was small and there were mirrors everywhere I looked. I couldn't help but see what I looked like and how far beyond gross my body was. That was a painful sight! I lay in bed with the worst case of heartburn you can imagine because of all the junk I'd eaten and I re-thought my pursuit of good health.

Ok. I know I can't make overwhelming goals or it destroys what I'm going after. But I did determine that I needed to get a handle on my eating habits. So....

• cheat days are only on Friday date night, and cheating is never over the top!
• Ice cream is allowed once a month. That's it!
• No crazy diets, but be aware of sugar, fatty foods...be aware!

Another item I thought through is that I'm at a point of "phoning in" my workouts. Currently, if I'm biking and listening to a book, it has just become boring--not sweat producing! I need to dial it up a couple of notches so I'm dripping in sweat. I need to listen to crazy music and get the heart rate up and the intensity WAY up. If I'm doing Aqua Aerobics, I need to push it hard. I can really do that in that class because my knees aren't at risk. When I walk outside, I need to push the speed so that it is a workout, no a walkout!!

If I'm putting all this effort into something this important and I'm doing it for 100 days....I better darn well make it worth the effort or that time will have come and gone with nothing to show for it!!!!!