Day 48

Just when I start thinking that 100 days is kind of overkill for a challenge, I have a day like today. A friend told me to try attending Silver Sneakers, a class taught by Lindsi at Life Center. She said it was a great workout even though was for old people.

I arrived at the class a few minutes after it started and people were so kind to get my chair set up and all the weights and everything that I would need. I looked around and saw the class was FILLED with really old people! That was okay and I kept working out. It was a nice class.

But as the class continued and I kept glancing at all the old people....it made me start to think of my mom. Lindsi would've done so much for her to be in a class like this. She is so sweet with all of these people.

Throughout the class, Lindsi kept telling us to look in the mirror and see if our posture and position was correct. I did so, and I was shocked at how I looked. That's when it all came together as I started thinking about how my mom would feel about how I look now.

How did I get here? How did I let it get so bad? It makes me sick to see the way that I look. I'm sitting here in the car with tears rolling down my face because I'm so amazed at how awful it look. Will I ever have enough stamina to look good? I don't know if I have it in me. Do I even have enough time in this life to keep myself healthy again? It's not like I think I'm going to die tomorrow, but to think that I would only have a few more years left after I get myself healthy is pretty rotten. I wasted a lot of time enjoying food and junk rather than enjoying good health. Is it too late? I know logically that it's not, but it seems like such an incredibly long journey